Shabbat Shalom!
I am very sad today. Tomorrow, Elana turns 60 (which is the new 43.5!), and I am in the US, while she returned to Israel to take care of her mom. We will celebrate when I get back, and we are working on a vacation around March to celebrate both of our 60th birthdays in an unmentioned lovely nation on the other side of the world. Fortunately, we have some ministry planned in Singapore around that time that gets us closer to our destination. Before she left, Sharon and Yael (our daughters) took her to a local hotel overnight and out to a nice dinner.
Please speak a blessing over Elana today, and you can send her a birthday greeting at elanacantor@gmail.com or find her on Instagram—the only social media she uses.
New Year Focus
It was roughly one year ago that I had a strong sense in my spirit that God was calling our ministry to focus more and more on combating sexual sin in the church. I did not know it at the time, but a few months later, we in Tikkun would be asked to oversee an investigation into IHOPKC, which should be wrapping up in the next few weeks. In addition, I had no way of knowing that a dear friend would be accused of improper behavior towards women in the same calendar year.
All this has forced me into a crash course on dealing with survivors of abuse, understanding clergy sexual abuse (CSA), how it differs from consensual adultery, and the proper way to conduct and oversee an investigation that the public trusts. This included chatting with David Pooler, one of the foremost university professors dealing with clergy sexual abuse (CSA) and spending an hour and a half with Diane Langberg, author of Redeeming Power and probably the leading voice in America on combating CSA. (Redeeming Power is a brilliant book that I would recommend to everyone.)
I finish my doctorate in July, and then I plan to begin creating materials to address this issue. We want to:
Train leaders in understanding why taking advantage of someone in their congregation is so damaging.
Helping young leaders understand the traps of pride and narcissism.
Helping congregations develop systems so that victims of abuse can safely report their abuse within the congregation.
Training folks in the Jesus and Paul type of leadership, which “considers others better than yourself.” (Phil 2:3)
Helping congregations understand how to investigate an accusation of sexual abuse.
I never imagined that I would be involved in that type of ministry. But it seems that the need is so great right now. I just read yesterday of another tragic story of a pastor who sexually abused teens and young women in more than one congregation with almost no accountability. The following statement about how a minor victim was treated as she sought to report to church officials what happened to her is graphic, so be warned.
“Kerri (the victim) went to the AOG in Springfield to testify about what happened. Approximately 30 men were sitting around a U-shaped table. Joe (the abuser) and Becky Campbell, along with Becky’s father, were present. The AOG ministers from the district that were at the table questioning Kerri basically called her a liar because she was unable to describe details about his penis or naked body.”
These are things that the church needs to grow in. I’m not sure what the date was, but imagine being a female in a room full of male leaders along with your abuser, and being asked intimate details about his body. Meanwhile, law enforcement was not alerted, even though she was a minor. That is another issue we aim to teach on: When is it the job of the church to investigate, and when is it the job of the police?
When a pastor sees the church as his property, bad things happen. However, when a true New Testament elder seeks to be a servant toward his congregation, good fruit comes forth. When Jesus taught on leadership, he emphasized that we were not to be like the pagans—where there was a great emphasis on your place in society. The kingdom of God is quite different.
As we seek to focus on this crucial need in the body of Messiah, I would appreciate your prayers.
Please pray for Elana to have a great birthday! And may you have a great Shabbat.
